How to (and not to) Respond When A Light-Skinned Person Tells You That He/She is Mexican

I have experience with this.

Let’s begin with:

Common Responses

The first and most common:

“You don’t look Mexican.” (Real original)

            There are different variations of this:

            1. You don’t look Ethnic (what does this even mean??)

            2. You don’t look Spanish

            3. You don’t look like it

            4. You don’t look brown

If that response is not given, here are the runner-ups:

“What is your last name?” Followed by: “That sounds French.”

“No, you’re not.”
“Yeah right.”
“Really?”
“Oooookay.”
“Say what?”

“What did you say?” (similar to above)

“Shut the front door.”

“Do you speak Spanish?” (This is usually a test from Spanish speaking returned missionaries. Yes I can speak Spanish, but no, I’m probably not going to ask you if you speak Spanish because I don’t care that you served your mission in Guatemala or North Carolina-Spanish Speaking or wherever.)

“You do have a sassy walk” (my personal favorite)

“I can kind of see it…. Wait… no, not really.”

“No, you’re white.”

“You look white.”

“I thought you were Brazillian.”

The follow-up game to this is almost always trying to guess “how Mexican” I really am. The bids usually begin around 1/16^th.

Rare Responses:

“Yeah I can totally see it.”
“Cool.”
“Don’t care.”
“Called it.”

Also, I will give an honorable mention to one of my personal favorites: The Stare. This happened very recently, actually. After dropping the M-bomb (Mexican), the new guy with whom I was dining awkwardly paused. He looked at me like he wanted to say something, but wasn’t sure if it was appropriate. He then decided to uncomfortably analyze my face as if to try and find some sort of Mexican evidence there. I hate to break this to you, but you probably won’t find any tortillas on my eyelids. While maintaining his gaze on my face, he scooted around the food on his plate and tried to decide whether or not it was all just a joke. No, it’s not a joke, and no, your staring is not as covert as you may think. Your nonchalant food shuffle can’t fool me, bro.

I do not share this information to get attention. Instead, I, or my close friends, use it to gauge someone’s reaction. The reactions almost always fall into two categories: 1. Accusatory shock/surprise or 2. Tactful curiousity or apathy. Before you say something in the accusatory category, consider this:

Why would someone just lie about this? Are we 9-years-old? Why would I randomly claim a race for attention? And, if I were dong this, why, of all races, would I choose Mexican? Not that it’s bad, but, if I were going to make up a race to be, I would probably choose something more unique in the United States, like Luxembourgian or something.

(For those of you who are wondering, "where on earth is Luxembourg?")

Also, is it so outrageous for me to say this? Come on. I have dark hair, dark eyes and dark eyebrows. And, if you know my last name, the Spanish is easily dissected into two familiar words. Anyone who has taken Spanish 101 (80% of the U.S. population) knows this. (It actually means that I am from a particular province in Spain. This knowledge of the formation of Spanish surnames helps, but is not necessary).

For all of you technical people out there, I realize that I was not born in Mexico. However, I do claim it as part of my ethnicity. If you’re looking for an argument on the difference between race and ethnicity, and feel as though I have no basis for this entire blog post, please see this website.

So, the next time that you are in this predicament, just spare yourself and say something indifferent like,  “cool” (best accompanied by a head nod), don’t stare, and just leave it at that.

Thanks, on behalf of all light-skinned (half) Mexicans everywhere.